"Rig it so I win"

The deliciously marvelous prizes. I won none of them.

“Rig it so I win.”

My words rang like a ransom demand to one of my former colleagues. Normally, I wouldn’t impose such a blatant disregard for the rules when it comes to media launch raffles. But considering my ill-fated fortune when it comes to raffles and the magnitude of the prizes that were at stake tonight, I was willing to sacrifice whatever ounce of self-respect I had left.

This particular raffle was part of Dell Philippines’ consumer market launch. And as with most launches go, companies usually raffle off the very same products they launch. Since the launch revolved around the long-anticipated release of Dell computers to the consumer market, the company graciously raffled off the very products they were launching, namely, the XPS M1330 laptop, the Inspiron 1420 laptop, and the Inspiron 530 and 530s desktop.

No, the prizes weren’t mouse pads or coffee mugs. They were brand-new, high-powered computer models that have yet to be released on the market!

With those two things in mind – my jinxed history in raffles and the awe-inspiring prizes at stake - I tried to get as much of an upper hand as I could get. And fortunately, I had a certain advantage waiting to be exploited: I knew the organizers fairly well. Additionally, I was a reviewer for a reputable tech magazine (hint: it resides in the summit of all tech magazines) so I was banking on name recognition to drive me home.

But the game plan was still to cheat, at least in my part.

After about an hour or so of constant plodding, begging, and asking my colleague to "make it happen", she – obviously annoyed – told me to sit tight and wait for the draw. Miffed, I had no choice but to do just that – wait. Fortunately these types of events also have another media perk: the open bar. What better way to wait than to drink as much as I can right? Besides, Dell's paying for it.

After five bottles of Coors Light, I wearily made my way back inside the bar. At the same time, the organizers informed the crowd that the raffle draw was set to begin. While inside, I scouted the area to look at my competition and noticed that there weren’t as many media people as there were during the night’s pantomime and belly dancing presentations. ‘Perfect’, I thought.

They all look seductively sexy. The laptops, I mean.

Less competition means more chances of winning!

Finally, Dell’s Country Manager, Barry Bunyi, together with other dignitaries from Dell Asia Pacific, made their way up the stage to pick the first lucky bastard of the night. As he picked from the fishbowl, Bunyi finally let the cat out of the bag.

Bunyi: “The winner of the Inspiron notebook is from...the Manila Bulletin!”

Me (under my alcohol-smelling breath): Damn!

Bunyi: “The winner of the Inspiron 530 is from...MANUAL magazine!”

Me: Shit!

Bunyi: The winner of the Inspiron 530s is from...HWM Magazine!”

Me: Fuck!

Just like that, three prizes were gone, with one left remaining. This one, however, was the big

kahuna, the biggest prize of them all, the Dell XPS M1330.

Knowing that, I gamely hid my disappointment and hoped that Bunyi would finally call my name and I, as a result, would shriek in delight, bask in the glory, and give big ol' Barry a bear hug - just like how my dream transpired the night before.

Finally, Bunyi reached for the fishbowl to draw the last winner. After opening it, he gave a half-smirk to the audience before saying, “The winner of the XPS M1330 is from.........Tech & Tuner!”

Another raffle draw and another empty-handed result.

Dejected, I made my way outside to drown in my sorrows. As I sat down and lighted a consolation cigarette, my colleague came up to me and asked, “Did you win?” Disconsolate and defeated, I only managed to nod my head, which prompted her to give me a reassuring hug and a give-away laptop bag, telling me that I’m bound to win a raffle draw sooner than later. At this point, my mood was beyond consolable. In an effort to keep my wits together, I simply nodded my head and said, “Yeah, but this laptop bag would have felt better if there was an actual laptop inside.”

After another three rounds of alcohol courtesy of the open bar, I called it a night and went home, thinking about my doomed fortune in raffles. Maybe the next time, I’ll actually tell them to rig the results.

At this point, that’s probably the only way I can win.

This was pretty cool.